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prize-winning puns

August 26, 2009

Submissions to the International Pun Contest*:

  1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, “I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.”
  2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says “Dam!”
  3. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says “I’ve lost my electron.” The other says “Are you sure?” The first replies “Yes, I’m positive.”
  4. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication. [This is one of the few jokes I know by heart, having read it in Reader’s Digest at a young, impressionable age.]
  5. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him …….. A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. [Heard this from my brother-in-law.]
  6. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

*A fake contest, I presume. Many quote it; none claim it.

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5 Comments leave one →
  1. August 27, 2009 9:03 am

    I LOVE THESE!!!!

  2. August 27, 2009 9:08 am

    oooo, I just saw this one and it made me laugh!

    A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named “Ahmal.” The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him “Juan.” Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, “They’re twins! If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Ahmal.”

  3. August 28, 2009 6:44 am

    “Submissions to the International Pun Contest”

    I am in your debt for these.

  4. August 28, 2009 11:50 am

    Thanks for making me laugh!

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