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going out on a limerick

March 30, 2009

Tell me your name, and I’ll write you a limerick.

You can post it on your blog, make it into a bumper sticker, have it framed, tattoo it on your arm, or whatever you want to do, as long as you cite the source.

I reserve the right to institute a time limit (one week?), a limerick limit (twenty?), or forms of quitting yet to be determined.

Update

With 32 limericks under my belt, this limited time offer has officially expired.  If you still want a limerick, feel free to throw in your name. I’d love for other commentators to respond with their creative compositions!

Thanks for your participation, everyone. I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did!

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107 Comments leave one →
  1. March 30, 2009 9:31 am

    My name is Scott.

    • March 30, 2009 10:46 am

      There once was a fellow named Scott,
      Who became a career astronaut.
      He fought his first alien
      by ousting its ganglion.
      Scott’s legend in schools now is taught.

  2. March 30, 2009 10:54 am

    Ellie

    • March 30, 2009 11:14 am

      Let me tell you the fav’rites of Ellie
      For food she prefers vermicelli,
      Her best color is blue,
      And her number is two.
      TV show, of course… Tubbies Tele.

      • Tim permalink
        March 30, 2009 12:41 pm

        Awesome last line!

  3. March 30, 2009 11:00 am

    Lisa or Lisa Joy or Lisa Joy Andersen…which ever lends itself best to your current flow of creative juices…

    • March 30, 2009 11:42 am

      My sister, her name being Lisa
      Was jailed for disturbing the peace-a.
      Just one call was made,
      To her husband, her aid,
      And Nathaniel came quick with his Visa.

      • March 30, 2009 5:09 pm

        Oh no!!! 🙂 That was great…thankfully that has never happened!

  4. Katie permalink
    March 30, 2009 11:28 am

    how fun! I want a limerick. My name is Katie

    • March 30, 2009 12:31 pm

      This counts for both you and Trent!

      “My pirate ship needs a first matey,”
      Thought Trent on his way back from Haiti.
      “She’ll be such a charrrrm,
      “as we walk arm in arrrrrrm.
      “My goodness, I think I’ll ask Katie!”

      • Katie permalink
        March 30, 2009 1:02 pm

        I love it!

  5. March 30, 2009 12:33 pm

    Leslie love limericks!

    • March 30, 2009 4:27 pm

      There was a young singer named Leslie
      Who named her guitar Elvis Presley.
      She donned her suede shoes
      And threw in some blues,
      And was launched into stardom expressly.

  6. March 30, 2009 12:35 pm

    My name is Danielle.

    • March 30, 2009 4:38 pm

      Have you heard of the stylist Danielle,
      Who attempted great feats with hair gel?
      “To Aveda or bust!”
      She said with great gust.
      But the bouffant, it didn’t fare well.

  7. March 30, 2009 12:37 pm

    My name is Derek. This is quite a fun idea, and I would like to participate. Thanks!

    • March 30, 2009 4:49 pm

      There was a young soldier named Derek,
      Personality-wise, he’s choleric.
      He tried to take charge,
      But was caught by the Sarge,
      And was henceforth confined to the barrack.

      • Derek permalink
        March 30, 2009 9:30 pm

        I hope that’s not prophetic! Thanks for the limerick.

  8. March 30, 2009 12:37 pm

    Hello, I’m Charles.

    • March 30, 2009 4:51 pm

      Charles was too hard, so I went with Charley. Hope you don’t mind!

      Oh, what a fella, that Charley.
      He incessantly rides on his Harley.
      With no helmet on head,
      He wound up with dreds:
      The wind made his hair get all snarley.

  9. Tim permalink
    March 30, 2009 12:40 pm

    Tim. or Tim Motte (rhymes with hot).

    • March 30, 2009 5:56 pm

      Now here’s a great trucker named Tim.
      Pretty much all he eats are Slim Jims.
      On cold days or hotte,
      They suit Mister Motte.
      With the wrappers he shines his truck’s trim.

      • Tim permalink
        March 31, 2009 9:42 am

        Hey, thanks!

      • Tim permalink
        March 31, 2009 9:42 am

        Would you like to do Rachel Motte as well?

  10. Lisa Knight permalink
    March 30, 2009 12:41 pm

    My name is Lisa.

    • March 30, 2009 6:13 pm

      Have you ever met Lisa Knight?
      If not, then please go fly a kite.
      She’s cheerful and bright,
      She keeps her socks white.
      I bet that you’d like her, quite right!

  11. March 30, 2009 12:52 pm

    Jessica, this is a lovely idea! Limerick-writing was a favorite summer pastime in college. Really enjoying reading your blog as well!

    • March 30, 2009 7:34 pm

      There once was a lady named Luz,
      Who befriended Bullwinkle the Moose
      They prepared teriyaki,
      Then shared it with Rocky,
      And escaped on the evening caboose.

      • March 30, 2009 11:20 pm

        I LOVE IT! (and happen to be a big Rocky and Bullwinkle fan too!) Thank you! 🙂

  12. Tony permalink
    March 30, 2009 12:59 pm

    Hi. I’m Tony.

    thanks 🙂

    • March 30, 2009 6:35 pm

      Have you heard the story of Tony?
      I’m afraid that it isn’t a phony.
      He claims he can swim
      With no dorsal fin.
      But he’s prob’ly full of boloney.

  13. March 30, 2009 1:01 pm

    my name is Joel

    • March 30, 2009 6:51 pm

      Here’s one thing to know about Joel:
      He’s set on a pretty big goal—
      To knock down the pins
      Until his team wins
      Every Tuesday at Fireside Bowl.

  14. Robin permalink
    March 30, 2009 1:03 pm

    My name is Robin. Cool idea!

    • March 30, 2009 7:05 pm

      Were you at the party with Robin,
      When she went for apples a-bobbin’?
      When she put her head in,
      The fruit lunged at her chin!
      And now her poor head is a throbbin’.

      • Robin permalink
        April 2, 2009 7:38 am

        Love it! Thanks for the poem.

  15. March 30, 2009 1:15 pm

    love to see what you do with Avila (pronounced “AH-VEE-LAH”)

    • March 30, 2009 7:16 pm

      There once was a cowgirl, Avila,
      With a hankering thirst for tequila.
      Her canteen was dry;
      She gave Starbucks a try,
      And was quenched by a latte vanila.

  16. Lauren permalink
    March 30, 2009 1:19 pm

    My name is Lauren 🙂

    • March 31, 2009 7:44 pm

      There once was a driver called Lauren,
      Who raced in a car that was foreign.
      When the gas level sank,
      Jet fuel went in the tank,
      And she flew ’til she had to put more in.

  17. March 30, 2009 1:29 pm

    i love your blog!! the name is melissa. 🙂

    • March 31, 2009 7:48 pm

      I had to go with your last name. Does anything rhyme with Melissa?

      Let me tell you ’bout Mrs Parnell,
      The inventor of phones we call “cell.”
      Voi-ces crystal clear
      For $ix hundred/year
      Thanks to her, ya’all don’t have to yell!

  18. jUNIA permalink
    March 30, 2009 1:33 pm

    my name is Junia~!

    • April 2, 2009 8:04 pm

      Thanks for the pronunciation help, Junia! Here you go:

      On a big yellow yacht sailed Junia,
      Going way past the big orange buoy-a.
      At two hundred knots,
      She ran into some rocks,
      But her boat had a raft. Hallelujah!

  19. March 30, 2009 1:43 pm

    I’m Drew. We go to church together.

    • March 31, 2009 7:59 pm

      The art of a draw-er named Drew
      Made observers not know what to do.
      The action, adventures,
      Unglued all their dentures!
      Good grief, what a hullabaloo!

  20. March 30, 2009 2:46 pm

    Tyler here! Small group leaders can’t be refused, right?

    • March 31, 2009 8:19 pm

      Here’s to the prize-loving Tyler.
      For the contest he set up a dialer.
      As the first caller in,
      He called in to win
      A helium balloon made of mylar.

  21. phmerrill permalink
    March 30, 2009 3:46 pm

    Don’t need a limerick – but yours is a cool idea!!

  22. March 30, 2009 3:50 pm

    My daughter’s name is Remington. i would love one for her. and yes, i will frame it!

    • March 31, 2009 8:41 pm

      Wow, that’s a hard one!

      There was a young princess named Remington
      And an elegant steed she called Clemington.
      They rode through the country,
      Picking flowers a-plentry
      To make cheerful their people in Lemington.

  23. Jamie permalink
    March 30, 2009 4:36 pm

    I thought since this post was about limericks based on names it might be appropriate for me to post the limerick Pete wrote (or attempted to write) when you guys came and visited me at school that one time… I think that it was just a few months after you started dating. I won’t necessarily vouch for the truth of the content…

    There once was a girl named Jame,
    She would play about any ‘ol game,
    Monopoly or clue,
    Parcheesi or taboo,
    She shall strike you down lame.

    Value your leg, for soon, you shall be game…

  24. Stephanie G. permalink
    March 30, 2009 4:44 pm

    Oh how I would love a “Stephanie” limerick!

    • March 31, 2009 9:04 pm

      To history went our friend Stephanie,
      To visit two ladies in Bephany.
      Martha served chick’n broff:
      Mary talked her ear off.
      All great, but the travel’s expensiphy.

      Wow, that was a stretch! Ha!

      • Stephanie G permalink
        April 1, 2009 9:50 pm

        I was expecting you to shorten it to Steph. Thanks for the wonderfully done effort, Jess! I’ll have to stitch this on a pillow!

  25. leslie permalink
    March 30, 2009 4:57 pm

    Thanks so much!

  26. Dora Barbee permalink
    March 30, 2009 5:01 pm

    My first name is Dora, and my last name is Barbee. I’m sure you can have fun with this!

    • March 31, 2009 9:24 pm

      Have you ever met Dora Barbee,
      Who nannies the bumble bee larvee?
      She gives them their pollen,
      Drives them to the mall, ‘n’
      Does it all at a reas’nable fee.

  27. March 30, 2009 5:26 pm

    Ooh ooh…Tara 🙂

    • April 2, 2009 9:17 pm

      Did you hear of the beauty queen Tara
      With the title “Miss French Riviera”?
      At pagents she wowed,
      Both judges and crowd,
      And acquired three years of mascara.

  28. Orange permalink
    March 30, 2009 5:51 pm

    I am a self aware fruit that loves blogs. I am simply known as Orange.

    • March 30, 2009 6:06 pm

      Thanks for visiting, orange-colored citrus.
      I’d like to see you throw a discus.
      You’re sticky and peely,
      And can’t pop a wheely.
      But I still made you part of my limrus.

      (Nice try, Trent! I was wondering if anyone would try that!)

  29. March 30, 2009 7:09 pm

    Ah nerts. This is by far the greatest blog series this year!

  30. Molly Piper permalink
    March 30, 2009 7:36 pm

    This is hysterical! Abraham feels bad for Tweeting this and probably making your productivity at work today close to 0%. You’re quite good at this limerick gig, my friend!

    • March 30, 2009 7:49 pm

      Thanks to Abraham, my previous record of 115 hits/day (not counting the Day 1) was broken by a new record of 290. You can thank him for me!

      Fun as they are, limericks are a lousy reason to lose your job, so after posting the first three, I quit until after work. Sixteen limericks later, I’m pretty much fried!

  31. March 30, 2009 8:21 pm

    Hi, my name is Lance.

    • April 2, 2009 9:32 pm

      There was a smart fellow named Lance
      Who practiced his steps in advance.
      To the lessons he went,
      Weeks before the event.
      And impressed all the girls at the dance.

  32. March 30, 2009 8:48 pm

    My name is Emily. You may have done one for Emily before, though.

    • April 2, 2009 10:21 pm

      There once was a zookeeper, Emily
      Whose favorite creatures were mammily.
      By feeding them oats,
      She made friends with goats,
      And added twelve kids to her family.

  33. Dad permalink
    March 30, 2009 8:50 pm

    You’re pretty good at this Jess.

  34. March 30, 2009 9:07 pm

    My dad, whose surname is Tieszen,
    With black birds was plagued beyond reason.
    When the crow shouted “Caw!”
    Lowell aimed and said “Naw,
    ‘Cause at my house it’s crow hunting season.”

    Thanks for commenting! I wrote this as a practice limerick last night, to see if I was really up to the task. It might be my favorite!

  35. March 30, 2009 10:49 pm

    Anika. Or Anie.

    • April 2, 2009 8:33 pm

      My friend, by the first name of Anika,
      Loved scan/copy/printers by Konika.
      But a big spill of toner,
      Turned her into a loner.
      All day now she plays the harmonika.

  36. March 31, 2009 6:44 am

    Bryan and Sarah! (Or either!) 🙂

    • March 31, 2009 11:20 am

      “Sarah, to the Twin Cities we’re flyin’
      “In my model airplane,” said the Bryan.
      When he hooked up de wires,
      Why, they burst into fires.
      “A ticket,” she said, “we are buyin’.”

  37. March 31, 2009 6:50 am

    try veronique!

    • April 2, 2009 9:57 pm

      Hi Veronique! I need to call you one of these days, but thought I better deliver on my promise first! Here’s your limerick!

      A strange habit of our Veronique
      Is to knit every day of the wique.
      From Sundays to Sats,
      Making mittens and hats,
      She’s improving her knuckle physique.

  38. Dad permalink
    March 31, 2009 7:55 am

    Here’s one for you, Jess.

    We raised little Jess among cowboys
    And a handful of old fashioned plowboys
    To the city we sent her
    For schooling we lent her
    But she adopted that big city poise.

  39. Ojonimi permalink
    March 31, 2009 12:42 pm

    Don’t know if you’re still doing this Jess but I thought you might have fun with my full name. 🙂

  40. Kate permalink
    March 31, 2009 7:03 pm

    Put me down for one, Jess!

    • March 31, 2009 7:37 pm

      Our talented friend, Miss Kate Mart’n
      From Rainbow got eggs by the cart’n.
      She whipped and she beat,
      Them with milk over heat.
      Best custard in town, that’s for sart’n!

  41. crystal bowers permalink
    March 31, 2009 11:27 pm

    how and johnathon and crystal 🙂

    if the limerick-ing is still happening!

  42. crystal bowers permalink
    March 31, 2009 11:28 pm

    oh dear… i’m tired and can’t type..

    that was ..

    “how about johnathon and crystal!”

  43. April 1, 2009 10:21 am

    How about one for Peter and Jess?

    Jess once impressed a man Melling
    who loved her so much there’s no telling.
    Whether country or rural
    —to Russia? the Urals?
    she’ll gladly make with him her dwelling.

    • April 1, 2009 12:34 pm

      That’s perfect! Thanks for the link, because I sure didn’t know about the Urals.

    • Peter permalink
      April 1, 2009 2:22 pm

      Huzza! That’s a great one, Tyler!

  44. Frank Martens permalink
    April 1, 2009 1:41 pm

    Oh SNAP! Talk about a response!

    • April 1, 2009 3:45 pm

      It’s been a fun experiment in creativity, and I definitely wouldn’t take it back. But talk about death by limerick! By 10pm my brain is mush, and my eyes are crossed.

  45. April 1, 2009 2:58 pm

    jessica,

    thanks so much.

    i tired to give it a go. i tried to follow your formula and this is what i came up with.

    God blessed Denise and I with Remington,
    A great daughter and a barrel of fun,
    She is beautiful, intelligent and a leader,
    A gorgeous soul, Christ follower and avid reader,
    She is all of that at nine and God’s not done.

    not as smooth and nice as yours. thank you so much . my daughter is so elated about this.

  46. Julie B. permalink
    May 28, 2009 3:09 pm

    Wow. Had fun reading all of these. You need to enter yourself in a contest…that can be your next project…finding a limerick contest to win. ; )

  47. Leon Toews permalink
    June 25, 2009 9:44 pm

    Jessica, your dad told me about this site and I’m so glad he did. I just laughed and laughed. Jeanne does limericks with her fourth graders and will have a lot to read them now. These are by far the best limericks I have ever read. I love them. I’m really looking forward to seeing your parents this weekend. Leon

  48. August 5, 2009 10:02 pm

    Woo Hoo!
    Bravo!
    Fun!

  49. gryffinkat permalink
    August 27, 2009 7:30 pm

    I want one, too! My name is Katrina, but you can also call me Kat.

  50. Tim Hargreaves permalink
    September 13, 2009 3:06 pm

    can someone do me a limerick pertinent to a YOUNG SOLDIER JOINING UP OR FIRST GOING INTO THE ARMY BY NAME OF JERRY OR JERRY SHAWCROSS (He was from Queensland and out of an orphanage)

    Thanks – Tim

    Please also send the limerick to me at my email address sharkbayherald@westnet.com.au

  51. Ken Christmann permalink
    December 8, 2009 10:37 am

    I need a limerick on a fellow by the name of jerry from laguna negril

  52. Emily permalink
    February 15, 2010 2:40 pm

    awsome

  53. Steff permalink
    February 21, 2010 10:46 am

    Can you write one about steff. I know you have stephanie, but its a little bit rubbishy. So steff might be easier. xx

    • August 27, 2010 1:34 pm

      Hi Steff, I don’t know if you still wanted a limerick, but I thought I would give it a try with your name so here it is

      There once was a girl named Steff
      Who was a very great chef
      She cooked for the poor
      never considering it a chore
      And always there was more then eneff

      Ok, that last word, eneff, means enough, I just couldn’t think of anything else, so I figured that would have to do. I hope you like it.

      ~Hannah~

  54. Steve Treichler permalink
    March 4, 2010 3:54 pm

    Steve

    • March 4, 2010 4:07 pm

      It came time for the tikes to play
      and all the toys were put away,
      the man they called Treich
      was mistook for a bike
      and the little ones rode him all day.

      • Steve Treichler permalink
        March 5, 2010 11:24 am

        Scott,

        Not only quick, witty, and rythmic, you also got my name right! Most people don’t realize it is pronounced Trike-ler. Good job!

        However, as a boy I got so sick and tired of the “go ride your trike” comments, I must admit that the limerick brought me back to those days of rolling my eyes and sighing at the would be name-assailant of my youth.

        Thanks so much, anyway – lot of fun!!

        Trike

  55. Laura permalink
    August 30, 2010 9:30 am

    Hi Jess, I don’t know if you are reading these limericks anymore but you spurred our family on to try to write some. Hannah wrote one for Steff. Good homeschool project. So here is one about the Leakes and the Mellings. ( not as good as yours but just had to try)

    There once was a fam’ named Melling,
    With flowers out front for jes’ smelling
    In came two Leakes.
    They thought they’d stay weeks.
    Will they leave? said Pete, No telling.

    P.S. Thanks for sharing your home!

  56. Rachel Robinson permalink
    February 5, 2014 8:52 pm

    This is Rachel and I would love a name limerick

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