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what is not the case

March 16, 2009

this-is-not-the-case1This is from a postcard we received at work a few weeks ago. I nearly had mental meltdown trying to understand it, probably because my eyes failed to see the words “store closing,” like being unable to see the ketchup when it’s right in front of me in the fridge. When someone explained the obvious to me, it made more sense.

Upon further inspection, I still think this postcard has major communication issues, mainly because of the words THIS IS NOT THE CASE. What is not the case, I ask? Here are some possible options:

1) It is not the case that we are open and ready for business.

2) You may have received a store closing notice flyer in error. That is not the case; we sent it to you on purpose.

3) You may have received a store closing notice flyer. We thought we sent it to someone else, but that was not the case; we erroneously sent it to you.

4) You may have accidentally received a flyer about our store closing, but that that was not the case. We meant to send you a flyer about our store closing, but an error prevented you from receiving it.

5) It is not the case that our store is closing. Anything you may or may not have received—on purpose or in error—is not the case, and should be disregarded. Come on in and see for yourself, whatever the case may be!

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9 Comments leave one →
  1. mjtong permalink
    March 16, 2009 7:52 am

    I made the mistake of reading your post today while eating quiche. I now have bits of quiche in the sinus cavities behind my nose.

  2. Peter permalink
    March 16, 2009 8:47 am

    I like the word “smallwares.”

  3. Jesse over there on the east coast permalink
    March 16, 2009 9:17 am

    Jess, I am mad at you for making me disrupt the quiet GCTS library for laughing out loud! I think I would have thought about the same 5 options for what was potentially not the case.

  4. KDau permalink
    March 16, 2009 11:44 am

    It’s terribly ironic that in an attempt to advertise the opening of their new store, the opposite message was sent.

    However, I did hear that World Market Cost Plus is closing all their retail locations and will be web based only in the future. Right now you may receive 80% off of everything in their stores if you meet the following criteria. One, you go to one of their stores while it’s still open. Two, you are there during their hours of operation. Three, you purchase one or more of their in-stock merchandise.

    I think this is a much better deal than the 10% these upstarts are offering. But, then that might not be the case for you.

  5. March 16, 2009 5:35 pm

    HA! I love your insight into the mundane. : ) I had no idea…. : )

  6. March 16, 2009 6:02 pm

    Can I just say that I love your blog?!?! I LOVE IT!!! This post is hilarious.

  7. May 26, 2009 11:46 pm

    rofl – you’re better than cake wrecks or lolcats.

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